


back again

by garbagecannot



Series: next gens [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Captain Squad 2.0, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Gen, Innuendo, Non-binary Akaashi, Tumblr Memes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-07-11 23:58:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7076038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garbagecannot/pseuds/garbagecannot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Hootkaashi:</b> please can all the miyagi captains get along for once<br/><b>ennosuffering:</b> you're asking for the impossible, Akaashi </p>
<p>Honestly, they're trying their best to get along. Key word: trying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	back again

**Author's Note:**

> it's...? sort of a sequel to 'fresh or something'? there's a few refs to the first one. but. y'know.
> 
> watch me sink further and further into self-indulgence valley, I'm so far in you can't see me anymore

**Conversation Title:** Freshest Captains

**Conversation description:**

we’re all alone now, no adults ;) – t. yuuji

are you thinking what I’m thinking? – f. kenji

yahaba needs an adult at all times, he’s a baby – s. kenjirou

say goodbye to your shins shirabu – y. shigeru

did you mean: sins – a. keiji  

nice kill – e. chikara

**Current members:**

futakuchis

shirabae

classyahaba

ennosuffering

time2party

Hootkaashi

**time2party** : guess who's back

**time2party** : back again

**futakuchis** : santa claus?

**ennosuffering** : is it one of the old captains?

**Hootkaashi** : bokuto???

**classyahaba** : ushiwaka?

**shirabae** : fuck off yahaba

**classyahaba** : what!!! I said nothing!!

**shirabae** : please kindly fuck off yahaba

**classyahaba** : WHAT!! I SAID NOTHING

**time2party** : omg it's still me lmao I was just singing a song

**time2party** : please calm

**Hootkaashi** : oh ok

**Hootkaashi** : so why am I still here again?

**ennosuffering** : you're stuck here Akaashi. You're not getting out until I do.

**time2party** : that's right sweetheart you're ours

**time2party** : SVSODJDGW

**time2party** : OH MY GOD CRANBERRY JUICE IS DISGUSTING

**time2party** : I HATE U KAZUMAAAAAAAA

**time2party** : HE'S LAUGHING @ ME WTF

**time2party** : quick captain squad how do I pay him back

**ennosuffering** : do you still have the juice?

**time2party** : ewww yes

**ennosuffering** : throw it at him

**futakuchis** : DAMN ennoshita!

**futakuchis** : didn't think you had it in you

**time2party** : u just want enno to throw his juice at u right ;)

**classyahaba** : YIKES

**futakuchis** : terushima for the 5346th time

**futakuchis** : can you fucking not

**time2party** : damn* your* fucking hot*

**shirabae** : you're*

**time2party** : thanks babe

**time2party** : u always got my back

**shirabae** : I'll kick your ass

**time2party** : kinky

**classyahaba** : KINKSHAME TERUSHIMA

**classyahaba** : THIS WHOLE CHAT IS DISGUSTING

**futakuchis** : you're disgusting

**classyahaba** : what??

**futakuchis** : disgustingly adorable

**futakuchis** : FUCK

**futakuchis** : IGNORE THAT

**classyahaba** : WHAT

**ennosuffering** : Akaashi, I'm leaving, you're leaving. We're out of here.

**Hootkaashi** : fine by me

**futakuchis** : are you gonna go make out somewhere bc I want to watch

**shirabae** : someone get him a thirst aid kit

**shirabae** : wtf is wrong with everyone today

**ennosuffering** : the 3rd years graduated today?

**shirabae** : ... they did?? SHIT

**shirabae** : I HAVE TO GO

 

_ennosuffering has left the conversation._

_Hootkaashi has left the conversation._

_shirabae has left the conversation._

 

**classyahaba** : oh they all left

**futakuchis** : noooo be more disappointed yahaba. it's more fun when you're disappointed

**classyahaba** : what's more disappointing is your face

**time2party** : OOOOHHH

**futakuchis** : how dare you!!! I'm beautiful

**classyahaba** : ok beautiful, so you think I'm cute?

**futakuchis** : fuck no

**classyahaba** : ☆〜（ゝ。∂）I can go back up and quote you if you want

**futakuchis** : fUCK NO

**futakuchis** : I DONT OK

**futakuchis** : YOU'RE WRONG

**futakuchis** : MY HAND JUST SLIPPED

**futakuchis** : I HATE YOUR STUPID FACE

**time2party** : that's rude I think yahaba is cute and so are u

**futakuchis** : you think I'M cute? what is wrong with you???

**time2party** : ur adorable look @ u

**futakuchis** : I mean. thanks. I guess. you're pretty cool?? your piercings are sick bro

**time2party** : thanks babe ❤ u can get a closer look anytime

**classyahaba** : anyway I can't hang out with you two alone bc you're gross I'm adding the others back in

 

_classyahaba has added ennosuffering, Hootkaashi and shirabae to the conversation._

 

**Hootkaashi** : stop this

**ennosuffering** : Yahaba let us have peace

**classyahaba** : no

**classyahaba** : you’re forbidden from leaving me alone with teru/futa

**classyahaba** : also off topic but

**classyahaba** : don't you have a teammate that keeps stripping during practice?

**ennosuffering** : oh Tanaka? yeah what about him?

**classyahaba** : I think he's somehow rubbed off on my team because wtf

**classyahaba** : it's been barely a day and there are shirts flying everywhere

**time2party** : are u sure that's not bc something else is happening ;)

**futakuchis** : if you're in the change room, that's nothing new, yahaba

**Hootkaashi** : what's this about stripping

**classyahaba** : akaashi no

**ennosuffering** : ok well the best thing to do is either force them back into their clothing or take their shirt and put it on

**classyahaba** : put it on???

**ennosuffering** : yeah

**ennosuffering** : then they look at you funny and have to awkwardly try and ask you to give their shirt back

**ennosuffering** : just keep walking away with it

**ennosuffering** : it's great

**futakuchis** : damn ennoshita

**futakuchis** : you're good at manipulating people, huh

**futakuchis** : managing*

**ennosuffering** : I do my best

**shirabae** : oh ushijima patted me on the head

**time2party** : OMG CUTE

**shirabae** : I'm not his dog though

**classyahaba** : head pats aren't dog pats necessarily shirabu

**classyahaba** : THOUGH SPEAKING OF DOGS

**classyahaba** : I think kyoutani wants to kill me

**Hootkaashi** : oh boy

**Hootkaashi** : what did you do

**futakuchis** : what didn't yahaba do

**classyahaba** : SHUT UP

**classyahaba** : it might have been the shirt thing idk

**ennosuffering** : wait did you seriously take his shirt and put it on?

**classyahaba** : you told me to!

**ennosuffering** : I didn't know we were talking about Kyoutani but R.I.P. Yahaba

**Hootkaashi** : was nice knowing you

**time2party** : invite me to the wedding!!

**time2party** : funeral*!! I meant funeral!!

**futakuchis** : right... terushima... right...

**shirabae** : what kind of stupid ass phone corrects 'funeral' to 'wedding'

**time2party** : mine does

**shirabae** : I call bullshit

**classyahaba** : you would, wouldn't you??

**classyahaba** : with all the cows in your school they're practically raising you in bullshit

**shirabae** : they're horses you uncultured swine

**futakuchis** : who has horses at their fucking school what the fuck

**shirabae** : shiratorizawa does. we're the best school in the prefecture.

**shirabae** : that's why

**shirabae** : you should have gone to

**classyahaba** : DO NOT FINISH THAT SENTENCE SHIRABU

**classyahaba** : THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING

**Hootkaashi** : please can all the miyagi captains get along for once

**ennosuffering** : you're asking for the impossible, Akaashi

**ennosuffering** : give up before you get involved

**Hootkaashi** : what did I do to deserve this

* * *

 

**futakuchis** : AHEM

**futakuchis** : so akaashi how's tokyo?

**Hootkaashi** : tokyo is the same as usual

**Hootkaashi** : it's a city, it doesn't really have feelings

**futakuchis** : how do you feel now that the 3rd years are gone?

**Hootkaashi** : at this point in time I still can't get rid of them

**Hootkaashi** : they're all chatting outside rn

**Hootkaashi** : so ok I guess. you?

**futakuchis** : they're still our fucking parents tbh

**futakuchis** : it's like they don't trust us on our own

**futakuchis** : moniwa came running in bc he saw kogane doing laps around the building

**futakuchis** : it was a little embarrassing bc he just got out of school and yet he still came back to parent us in a heartbeat

**Hootkaashi** : I take it you don't know my seniors then

**Hootkaashi** : during practice I did a setter dump at match point and bokuto who was on the benches

**Hootkaashi** : stood up

**Hootkaashi** : and started crying I kid you not

**Hootkaashi** : konoha legitimately thought something was wrong and freaked out

**futakuchis** : bro kamasaki fucking carried sakunami to the water fountain bc our baby libero fell over in practice and scraped his knees

**futakuchis** : his knee pad covered knees mind you

**futakuchis** : I feel your pain

**Hootkaashi** : you don't understand

**Hootkaashi** : at the door at this very moment

**Hootkaashi** : bokuto is with kuroo tetsurou from nekoma

**Hootkaashi** : holding an entire raw fish and a bag of rice

**futakuchis** : ok I don't want to know

**futakuchis** : you win

**futakuchis** : you have suffered the most

**ennosuffering** : the suffering games™

* * *

 

**shirabae** : akaashi you play setter don't you?

**Hootkaashi** : yes. You do as well, I'm pretty sure?

**shirabae** : yes. I'm very good at it

**Hootkaashi** : you'd have to be, to play setter for shiratorizawa

**shirabae** : yes

**Hootkaashi** : so ...

**Hootkaashi** : did you come here to brag or did you want something from me?

**shirabae** : oh

**shirabae** : no it's nothing bye

**Hootkaashi** : ???

**Hootkaashi** : are you ok?

**Hootkaashi** : hello?

**futakuchis** : holy shit akaashi

**futakuchis** : you scared shirabu away

**futakuchis** : what kind of sorcery

**Hootkaashi** : I didn't mean to? I'm sorry?

**futakuchis** : all the blame is on you now

**Hootkaashi** : are you trying to make me feel bad? I didn't even do anything...

**shirabae** : shut your fucking mouth for once futakuchi

**shirabae** : akaashi I'll message you privately

**shirabae** : sorry

**Hootkaashi** : it's... fine...?

* * *

 

**shirabae** : ok I'm awkward as fuck about this but

**shirabae** : I just wanted to ask about your pronouns

**shirabae** : like how you've written they/them on your profile? those things

**Hootkaashi** : oh, no problem, what about them?

**shirabae** : do you like... gender

**Hootkaashi** : what?

**shirabae** : I'm confused. like. what are you

**shirabae** : like I'm not trying to be rude I genuinely don't know how this works

**shirabae** : and since no one else questioned it I didn't really want to ask in the group chat

**shirabae** : um sorry

**Hootkaashi** : it's fine lol

**Hootkaashi** : don't stress

**Hootkaashi** : basically instead of he/him, I go by they/them

**Hootkaashi** : it's like if you look at cisgenders as a fork and a spoon

**Hootkaashi** : I'm a spork??

**Hootkaashi** : that's how bokuto explained it to people so I'm hoping it's an explanation that you can understand

**shirabae** : yeah ok I get that

**shirabae** : that's cool I guess

**shirabae** : I noticed we were still calling you a boy sometimes in the chat though??

**Hootkaashi** : oh I don't really care sometimes

**Hootkaashi** : if it slips and I don't like it, I will let you know, don't worry

**shirabae** : ok thanks

**shirabae** : sorry for the trouble

**Hootkaashi** : no problem

**Hootkaashi** : if you have any questions, you can ask

**Hootkaashi** : don't be afraid to talk to me

**shirabae** : I think you're my new fav anyway

**Hootkaashi** : I'm flattered

**shirabae** : you better be.

**Hootkaashi** : ah shirabu. never change.

* * *

 

**futakuchis** : now I'm really curious about why shirabu ran away

**shirabae** : is it that hard for you to mind your own goddamn business

**futakuchis** : let me take a wild guess

**shirabae** : for fucks sake

**futakuchis** : PRONOUNS

**shirabae** : WHAT THE FUCK

**futakuchis** : AHA FUTAKUCHI WINS AGAIN

**classyahaba** : shove it futakuchi, shirabu wanted to get educated, let him

**shirabae** : do you even know what education is, yahaba

**classyahaba** : the ONE TIME I try to be nice to you

* * *

 

**ennosuffering** : so how's everyone settling in as captaining without any third years to help you?

**time2party** : I JUST REMEMBERED WE WERE GONNA HANG OUT ONCE YOU WERE ALL OFFICIALLY CAPTAIN

**time2party** : TIME PLACE DATE GO GO LET'S GO

**futakuchis** : LET’S GO DATEKOU

**ennosuffering** : I'm not even mad anymore

**ennosuffering** : well done futakuchi

**futakuchis** : naturally

**classyahaba** : ok but do any of us even have the free time for this meet up frankly

**time2party** : BOO but true

**time2party** : we'll go during break then? or whenever akaashi can come down from tokyo w their city friends

**time2party** : we can probably do weekends but schedules are weird

**ennosuffering** : yeah. saturday school/practice is a thing so

**futakuchis** : I’ve got cram school on sundays too sorry

**futakuchis** : fixing up grades for once

**futakuchis** : final year and all

**time2party** : u know if u guys ever need any help with ur studies, u can ask me, right?

**classyahaba** : um?? sure?

**time2party** : no I’m serious

**time2party** : I’m in college prep and everything

**classyahaba** : holy shit?? YOU ARE???

**ennosuffering** : oh my god you are? So am I but???

**futakuchis** : ok wtf how many of you are in college prep

**classyahaba** : I am

**ennosuffering** : I am, I know Akaashi is, too

**time2party** : meeee

**futakuchis** : HOLY SHIT

**futakuchis** : well I feel stupid now

**ennosuffering** : oh, don’t

**ennosuffering** : it’s not that big a deal

**futakuchis** : lmao I know

**futakuchis** : I’m gonna harass you all with endless science questions

**futakuchis** : you brought this upon yourself

**futakuchis** : chemistry more like cheMYSTERY because I never know what’s going on

**time2party** : aww ur gonna rely on us!! sweet

**classyahaba** : ok ok so before I forget

**classyahaba** : captain meetup will happen whenever we’re all free, right? and we’re also gonna help futakuchi get his grades up

**ennosuffering** : sounds like a plan

**futakuchis** : thanks fam

**classyahaba** : we’ve got you!

**futakuchis:** oh how cute yahabaaaaaa

**classyahaba:** … only when you’re not being a pain in the ass though

**time2party:** …….

**classyahaba:** TERUSHIMA DON’T YOU DARE

**time2party:** a pain in who’s ass

**time2party:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**classyahaba:** CAN YOU NOT

**time2party:** that’s funny

**time2party:** I always thought futakuchi would be a bottom :)

**futakuchis:** …..

**futakuchis:** well you know what they say

**time2party:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) what do they say

**futakuchis:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**classyahaba:** I HATE BEING LEFT ALONE WITH YOU TWO

**classyahaba:** ennoshita come back where did you go

**ennosuffering:** conceal, don’t feel, Yahaba

**ennosuffering:** conceal, don’t feel

* * *

 

**shirabae** : so oikawa tooru

**classyahaba** : what about him

**shirabae** : nothing. I was just wondering if his name alone could summon you and it looks like it did.

**classyahaba** : do you have something to say to me shirabu?

**shirabae** : not really

**shirabae** : oh wait I do have one question

**classyahaba** : what is it?

**shirabae** : why is your hair so fucking dumb

**classyahaba** : I AM THIS CLOSE

**classyahaba** : THIS CLOSE SHIRABU

**classyahaba** : SO CLOSE

**time2party** : I could make this conversation really awkward rn but kenji told me I should lay off so I'm just gonna sit here and smile :)

**shirabae** : who the fuck is kenji

**classyahaba** : futakuchi kenji?? have you been paying attention at all shirabu

**shirabae** : ok whatever but since when was yuuji on a first name basis w him

**classyahaba** : SINCE WHEN WERE YOU ON A FIRST NAME BASIS WITH TERUSHIMA

**time2party** : no comment

**shirabae** : no comment

**classyahaba** : WHAT HAPPENED

* * *

 

**Hootkaashi** : I could call you shigeru if you want??

**classyahaba** : omg um

**classyahaba** : if you're ok with it??

**Hootkaashi** : sure, I asked. call me keiji too

**Hootkaashi** : let's just confuse everyone even more and see what happens

**classyahaba** : ... you're evil, keiji

**Hootkaashi** : why, shigeru, I've only just begun

* * *

 

**futakuchis** : is it just me

**futakuchis** : or has there been a lot of ust in this chat lately? specifically since akaashi joined

**ennosuffering** : ust?

**shirabae** : unresolved sexual tension

**ennosuffering** : oh

**ennosuffering** : well

**ennosuffering** : I hadn't noticed?

**Hootkaashi** : in hindsight it was bound to happen

**classyahaba** : keiji's right

**classyahaba** : you put 6 attractive teenagers w questionable sexualities in one chat

**classyahaba** : some more flirty than others

**classyahaba** : some that enjoy innuendos far too much for their own good

**classyahaba** : what did you expect?

**Hootkaashi** : well said, shigeru

**Hootkaashi** : you read my mind

**ennosuffering** : ...

**ennosuffering** : ok yeah fair enough I see your point

**ennosuffering** : so uh

**ennosuffering** : Akaashi and Yahaba? first-name basis?

**futakuchis** : yeah what's up with that anyway

**Hootkaashi** : sorry I don't kiss and tell

**futakuchis** : ARE YOU IMPLYING

**futakuchis** : YOU AND YAHABA

**classyahaba** : keiji stop you're embarrassing me

**futakuchis** : OH MY GOD

**ennosuffering** : ok I have seen a lot in my day

**ennosuffering** : and I am at least 90% sure that this is a joke

**Hootkaashi** : we'll just have to keep you guessing then

* * *

 

**futakuchis** : song train, go go let's go

**Hootkaashi** : is this 2012

**futakuchis** : hush dear

**futakuchis** : I’ll start

**futakuchis** : what a beautiful wedding

**ennosuffering:** (why did you start in the middle of the song, you tool)

**ennosuffering** : what a beautiful wedding

**futakuchis** : said the bridesmaid to the waiter

**futakuchis:** (I do what I want ok)

**ennosuffering** : yes but what a shame

**futakuchis** : what a shame

**ennosuffering** : the poor

**futakuchis** : groom's bride is

**shirabae** : dat boi

**futakuchis** : F UCK

**futakuchis** : GTFO SHIRABU

**shirabae** : o shit waddup!!

**futakuchis** : SHIRABU WTF

**futakuchis** : THERE IS A TIME AND A PLACE FOR MEMES

**futakuchis** : AND THAT IS NOT NOW

**ennosuffering** : meme farm strikes again

**time2party** : SHIRABU KENJIROU UR A LEGEND AND I LOVE U

**shirabae** : I don't want your love

**shirabae** : and you morons were setting that one up perfectly so don't even complain

**shirabae** : anyway my job here is done

**shirabae** : bye

**futakuchis** : OH NO YOU DON'T

**futakuchis** : GET BACK HERE

**shirabae** : bye

**futakuchis** : COME HERE SHIRABU

**shirabae** : what is it and why does it concern me

**futakuchis** : don't you ever do that ever again

**shirabae** : ayyy lmao

**ennosuffering** : Shirabu, are you okay? You're not acting like yourself.

**Hootkaashi** : I don't even recognise you anymore

**shirabae** : thank you for the concern

**shirabae** : I may be dead on the inside, but other than that, I'm fine

**ennosuffering** : is it Futakuchi?

**Hootkaashi** : Is that loud datekou person bothering you?

**shirabae** : yes...... futakuchi's bullying me……..

**futakuchis** : I have never heard so much bullshit in my entire life

**ennosuffering** : Futakuchi how dare you

**Hootkaashi** : Shirabu has such a tender soul

**futakuchis** : what HEY

**futakuchis** : NO

**futakuchis** : what is HAPPENING

**futakuchis** : I CAME HERE

**futakuchis** : TO HAVE A GOOD TIME

**futakuchis** : AND I'M HONESTLY

**shirabae** : memeblocked

**futakuchis** : OH FUCK YOU

* * *

 

**classyahaba** : I came out here to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now, is what he meant to say

**futakuchis** : fuck you too yahaba

**classyahaba** : ummm no thanks

**classyahaba** : I am pure and chaste

**futakuchis** : ha!!! HA!!! HAHAHA!!!

**Hootkaashi** : what's so funny

**futakuchis** : I'm not laughing Akaashi

**Hootkaashi** : I'm not laughing Akaashi either. I'm frowning Akaashi.

**futakuchis** : I hate all of you

**classyahaba:** did keiji just make a dad joke

**Hootkaashi:** oh no

**Hootkaashi:** I’m becoming one of THEM

**classyahaba:** don’t join the dads club!! they don’t deserve you!!

**Hootkaashi:** I won’t. besides

**Hootkaashi:** dads are nerds?? and am I a nerd?? I don't think so bye 

**classyahaba:** I knew there was a reason I liked you

* * *

 

**classyahaba** : ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

**time2party** : ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

**Hootkaashi** : oh no

**Hootkaashi** : the kaomoji have migrated

**Hootkaashi** : and they finally made it to this chat

**classyahaba** : ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ☆彡

**Hootkaashi** : rare kaomoji has been spotted

**time2party** : rare booty has been spotted

**time2party** : now tell me if that booty wants to go out with me or not

**classyahaba** : terushima not this AGAIN do you have any chill

**time2party** : I'm the chillest person to ever chill tbh

**classyahaba** : then stop chasing keiji you will achieve nothing

**Hootkaashi** : thank you

**time2party** : who said I was chasing akaashi? I am SO over akaashi

**time2party** : like SOOO over him

**time2party** : like

**time2party** : you could give me akaashi's number and I'll prove it to you

**classyahaba** : haha subtle

**classyahaba** : but 0 points to the yellow team

* * *

 

**Hootkaashi** : thanks shigeru

**classyahaba** : no worries. I'm here if you need. always!

**shirabae** : #prettysetterdefensesquad

**Hootkaashi** : but you're both pretty setters too??

**classyahaba** : awww ♪( ´▽｀) but you're THE pretty setter

**shirabae** : yeah what he said

**Hootkaashi** : honestly... thanks but... I don't want that title...

**shirabae** : well we sure as hell ain't giving it to oikawa

**classyahaba** : UM!!! WOW!!!

**classyahaba** : INSULTING MY SENIOR AGAIN

**classyahaba** : do you wanna fucking GO shirabu

**shirabae** : go where

**classyahaba** : you take it back right now

**classyahaba** : tell me oikawa is pretty

**shirabae** : over my dead body

**classyahaba** : that can be arranged (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))

**Hootkaashi** : I'll just leave you guys to it then

* * *

 

**ennosuffering** : Yahaba please don't kill Shirabu we still need him

**ennosuffering** : I'll say it on his behalf

**ennosuffering** : Oikawa is pretty

**ennosuffering** : are we good now?

**classyahaba** : fiiiiine

**futakuchis** : thanks chika, damage control was a success

**futakuchis** : and shirabu gets to keep all his limbs and his life

**ennosuffering** : don't call me Chika

**ennosuffering** : but good.

**ennosuffering** : now which one of you fuckers sent a screenshot of me saying 'Oikawa is pretty' to Oikawa Tooru wtf

**ennosuffering** : he just messaged me saying he was 'flattered but also taken' good grief is he always online

**ennosuffering** : ANYWAY I don't have a thing for Oikawa ughh!!

**ennosuffering** : who the hell sent it?

**classyahaba** : not meee

**futakuchis** : not meeeeee

**ennosuffering** : it was one of you

**time2party** : it was me

**ennosuffering** : no it wasn't

**ennosuffering** : now who do I have to hunt down?

**ennosuffering** : Futakuchi or Yahaba?

**futakuchis** : yahabaaaaa

**classyahaba** : futakuchiiiii

**futakuchis** : YAHABAAAAA

**classyahaba** : FUTAKUCHIIII

**ennosuffering** : this is getting nowhere

**futakuchis** : YAHABA

**classyahaba** : FUTAKUCHI

**futakuchis** : SHIGERU

**classyahaba** : KENJI

**Hootkaashi** : eats popcorn

**futakuchis** : YAHABA SHIGERU

**time2party** : u should stutter so this looks like a dramatic confession

**time2party** : "YA.. YAHABA I'VE LOVED U FOR A LONG TIME"

**classyahaba** : FUTAKUCHI KENJI

**time2party** : "PLEASE ACCEPT MY FEELINGS"

**classyahaba** : NO!! go away terushima

**futakuchis** : ewww no who the hell is gonna confess to yahaba

**classyahaba** : oh my fucking god I will deck you boy

**ennosuffering** : I'm going to hunt both of you down, I've decided

**ennosuffering** : but let's get rid of this tension first

**classyahaba** : omg don't phrase it like that!!

**futakuchis** : fuck

**futakuchis** : ennoshita no you're wrong

**futakuchis** : I legitimately do not like yahaba

**classyahaba** : likewise

**shirabae** : yahaba hates himself too

**classyahaba** : don't twist my words shirabu!!

**shirabae** : you said it not me

**shirabae** : "I don't like Yahaba" "likewise"

**classyahaba** : shush you know what I meant

**shirabae** : did I?

**futakuchis** : ok lay off shirabu

**shirabae** : ok wtf are you on yahaba's side or are you not

**futakuchis** : I'm on the side of justice

**ennosuffering** : what is going on

**ennosuffering** : do you three need to go to the time out corner

**futakuchis** : HAHAHA YOU ACTUALLY SAID IT

**futakuchis** : THE TIME OUT CORNER

**futakuchis** : LMAOOOO

**classyahaba** : WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING

**classyahaba** : THE TIME OUT CORNER WAS YOUR IDEA

* * *

 

**time2party** : so just out of curiosity

**time2party** : are any of you in a relationship??

**shirabae** : I am. but you all knew that

**shirabae** : except akaashi

**Hootkaashi** : well now I know

**shirabae** : mhm

**ennosuffering** : I'm not, I broke up with my gf a while back

**shirabae** : oh. you ok?

**ennosuffering** : fine, thanks for asking!

**Hootkaashi** : when was this?

**ennosuffering** : like two months ago? it's fine, seriously, I had too much volleyball to worry about to be sad

**time2party** : wipes tear

**time2party** : a true warrior among us mortal men

**shirabae** : you're so full of shit yuuji what does that even mean

**Hootkaashi** : so terushima, what's your story?

**time2party** : shirabae you wound me

**time2party** : oh me?? I'm single only bc I've dated every person in my year and some lower years too

**time2party** : or at least I tried to date them all

**time2party** : it didn't go so well with some of them but at least I have a lot of phone numbers now!!

**ennosuffering** : wow.

**time2party** : I'm getting better at dealing w emotions ahaha

**time2party** : it's just fun y'know?? I just need to have fun, that's all I want

**time2party** : but I've started to learn that it does hurt people and I'm trying to be more considerate for everyone's sake :)

**time2party** : kinda the reason why I don't date in my team but I totally would if they were genuinely up for it

**time2party** : ew sorry I rambled a bit

**time2party** : I hope u guys don't hate me

**ennosuffering** : no it's fine, I'm actually glad you told us. It always seemed like there was such a big divide between you and the rest of us but you're a good person and you're learning, Terushima

**ennosuffering** : at the very least, I'm proud of you

**time2party** : aww thanks mom <3

**Hootkaashi** : I don't know you very well but I agree with ennoshita. You do you.

**ennosuffering** : TERU, CHILD, I’M NOT YOUR MOM

**shirabae:** way to call yourself out, ennoshita

**shirabae** : damn this became a lot more emotional than I expected

**shirabae** : do your best I guess

**shirabae** : as long as you don't come to our schools to give us stupid fucking hugs again

**time2party** : WOW WHAT A WONDERFUL IDEA

**time2party** : I WISH I THOUGHT OF THAT

**shirabae** : YOU DID THINK OF THAT

**time2party** : I'M COMING FOR YOU KENJIROU

**shirabae** : FUCK OFF YUUJI

* * *

 

**Hootkaashi** : guess what time it is

**futakuchis** : trash talking time

**Hootkaashi** : correct

**ennosuffering** : oh boy here we go

**Hootkaashi** : today's question is:

**Hootkaashi** : "who is the most difficult team member to handle and why?"

**futakuchis** : KOGANEGAWA

**futakuchis** : HE IS A MESS

**futakuchis** : im gonna

**ennosuffering** : Tanaka and/or Nishinoya

**ennosuffering** : maybe Tsukishima???

**Ennosuffering** : every day it's one of them

**classyahaba** : kyoutani??? probably?? define 'handle'...

**shirabae** : holy shit are we actually having this bitch off right here and now

**Hootkaashi** : yes

**Hootkaashi** : bitching about things is the only thing we're good at

**Hootkaashi** : apart from volleyball I guess there's that too

* * *

 

**time2party** : uhhh guys?

**futakuchis** : what's up

**time2party** : not to ruin the fun

**time2party** : which I’ve been doing a lot lately (ironically)

**time2party** : but

**time2party** : the bitch off isn't really my thing

**futakuchis** : wait really

**time2party** : omg ok yeah I know it might sound weird coming from me!!!

**time2party** : honestly it's fine now but

**time2party** : it has the potential to be really mean

**time2party** : so yeah

**time2party** : sorry I'm kinda not feeling it right now

**shirabae** : that's the most intelligent thing I have ever seen you write tbh

**ennosuffering** : if it makes you uncomfortable, we'll stop

**ennosuffering** : sorry Terushima

**time2party** : it's ok!! it's no big deal

**time2party** : I just didn't want this group to turn into a bully group y'know

**futakuchis** : ok we respect that

**futakuchis** : but now that we've abolished the bitch off what should we do instead

**time2party** : u could like... show off. or something

**shirabae** : show off??

**time2party** : like

**time2party** : today's question is:

**time2party** : "who's the prettiest person on your team"?

**shirabae** : me?

**classyahaba** : me

**Hootkaashi** : me..

**futakuchis** : oh my god

**futakuchis** : STOP THEM

**ennosuffering** : the pretty setters cannot be stopped

**ennosuffering** : damn now I'm calling them that too

**ennosuffering** : this is all futakuchi's fault

**futakuchis** : they're setters and they're pretty what more do you want from me

**time2party** : I hate this because it's true

* * *

 

**classyahaba** : question

**ennosuffering** : shoot

**Hootkaashi** : get down before someone gets hurt

**time2party** : stop drop and roll, man

**futakuchis** : where's the fire

**shirabae** : wherever the fuck the fire wants to be

**time2party** : too hot

**futakuchis** : hot damn

**ennosuffering** : call the police

**Hootkaashi** : and the fireman

**classyahaba** : .........

**classyahaba** : ... woah

**classyahaba** : did you guys plan all that?

**classyahaba** : because holy wow

**classyahaba** : coordination

**futakuchis** : we're becoming more in sync and that scares me

**ennosuffering** : I don't want to be in sync with you

**futakuchis** : why not? I'm a fucking delight

**Hootkaashi** : ok ignoring the fucking delight over there, what was the question that you had, shigeru?

**classyahaba** : oh yeah

**classyahaba** : it's actually about volleyball believe it or not

**shirabae** : in a volleyball captains chat... a question about volleyball.... you don't say........

**classyahaba** : hush

**classyahaba** : ok so!!

**classyahaba** : I’m a setter, as you all know

**time2party** : a pretty setter

**classyahaba** : yes ok thank you terushima

**classyahaba** : and I just wanted to know – do you guys have like

**classyahaba** : setter expectations?

**Hootkaashi** : setter expectations?

**ennosuffering** : what do you mean?

**classyahaba** : I mean! I’m definitely not oikawa when it comes to setting

**classyahaba** : and I’m kind of afraid that the team sometimes forgets that?

**classyahaba** : like I’m not terrible, I’m just not amazing, you feel?

**futakuchis** : um ok but do you set like koganegawa because jfc

**ennosuffering** : shut up Futakuchi, we all know you’re secretly proud of him

**shirabae** : who cares if you’re not oikawa tbh

**shirabae** : one less oikawa tooru in the world is a blessing

**classyahaba** : it might just be a self-doubt thing again sorry guys

**classyahaba** : SHIRABU COM E ON

**classyahaba** : I WILL SERIOUSLY COME FOR YOU

**classyahaba** : ONE MORE JIBE AT OIKAWA AND YOUR HEAD IS MINE

**time2party** : ;)

**futakuchis** : oh my fucking god, every time

**Hootkaashi** : you’ll be fine, yahaba, we all have our moments

**Hootkaashi** : the setter is the control tower but we’re all still human

**Hootkaashi** : don’t think too much about anything but delivering the best toss

**ennosuffering** : Akaashi’s right. and anyway, I’ve seen Kyoutani spike even your worst tosses so don’t forget a team is made up of six people, not just one

**time2party** : ‘your worst tosses’ wow enno dishing it out

**ennosuffering** : hey it’s the truth, and I don’t mean it in a bad way

**ennosuffering** : you know that, right, Yahaba?

**classyahaba** : yeah it’s fine I got it

**classyahaba** : seriously, thanks guys, you always know what to say

**classyahaba** : except shirabu

**shirabae** : well I can’t be any worse than oikawa tooru

**classyahaba** : fucking hell shirabu I will cut you

* * *

 

**ennosuffering** : I just realised that having a Kenji, a Keiji and a Kenjirou is gonna get really confusing

**Hootkaashi** : why? Were you thinking of calling us all by first name?

**futakuchis** : more importantly are you jealous that he said my name first

**Hootkaashi** : not really

**Hootkaashi** : I don't mind being sandwiched between you two

**time2party** : OUT OF THE LEFT FIELD AKAASHI

**time2party** : WHERE DID THAT COME FROM

**Hootkaashi** : oh dear I didn't mean to press enter

**time2party** : discovering a whole new side of you man

**time2party** : smh

**futakuchis** : OH GEEZ

**futakuchis** : COMING FROM YOU?

**time2party** : yes. I am reading articles on Political Correctness to keep my mind clean

**futakuchis** : what

**Hootkaashi** : Political Correctness

**Hootkaashi** : I’m not sure that’s the right term for it but ok

**ennosuffering** : anyway. disregarding all of you, I just had the passing thought

**ennosuffering** : reading the chat description, is all

**futakuchis** : booooring

**futakuchis** : on the topic of names though

**futakuchis** : why won’t you let me call you chika

**ennosuffering** : uhhhhhhhh

**ennosuffering** : because I don’t want you to?

**time2party** : yeah kenji lay off :(

**time2party** : ur gay is showing again

**futakuchis** : is that a bad thing ;)

**time2party** : not at all ;)

**Hootkaashi** : …

**Hootkaashi** : now I know why shigeru hates being alone with you two

* * *

 

**ennosuffering** : Hey Akaashi?

**Hootkaashi** : yes?

**ennosuffering** : you know how we always get invited to Tokyo training camps, right?

**Hootkaashi** : yes...?

**ennosuffering** : I was wondering if you were interested in coming to ours? Miyagi training camp, I mean. Hinata invited Nekoma through Kenma already, but I thought I'd ask you if Fukurodani was interested?

**Hootkaashi** : I'll ask coach brb.

**ennosuffering** : k

**Hootkaashi** : back

**Hootkaashi** : he said we can depending on dates. when is it?

**ennosuffering** : next weekend, we meet in Sendai. Is that okay?

**Hootkaashi** : coach says it's fine but next time give us more notice lol

**ennosuffering** : oh, of course, sorry! it literally only just occurred to me. don't expect us to be like ... tokyo camp standard omg.

**Hootkaashi** : we're not fussy. Is, ah, everyone going to be there?

**ennosuffering** : everyone...? You mean the fresh captains? Yeah. Yeah we'll all be there. Shirabu might not make the whole camp but he did say he might drop by one of the days

**Hootkaashi** : I see

**ennosuffering** : are you nervous?

**Hootkaashi** : not at all

**Hootkaashi** : what would I be nervous about?

**ennosuffering** : meeting everyone in person, I guess

**ennosuffering** : I mean. you've met a few of them but that was before this whole chat was made.

**Hootkaashi** : well I think I'll be okay. I'll just stick to you if I get uneasy, if that's alright?

**ennosuffering** : oh yeah! go ahead. I don't mind. everyone is super friendly though.

**ennosuffering** : but prepare for war anyway. bring headphones because Futakuchi is really noisy. also bring a spray bottle just in case anyone is being terrible. but mostly headphones. beware of Futakuchi irl

**Hootkaashi** : you warned me about futakuchi twice

**ennosuffering** : I mean watch out for Terushima too, but even though he looks intimidating, he’s mostly harmless

**Hootkaashi** : I can imagine

**Hootkaashi** : thanks again Ennoshita

**Hootkaashi** : it's nice to know I can count on you

**ennosuffering** : no problem! Look forward to seeing you there!

* * *

 

**time2party** : miyagi training camp is this weekenddddd

**shirabae** : yes

**futakuchis** : are you guys excited to see me

**classyahaba** : futakuchi please

**classyahaba** : nobody is excited to see you

**futakuchis** : WOW

**futakuchis** : I’LL JUST HANG OUT WITH MYSELF THEN

**shirabae** : go ahead

**futakuchis** : W O W

**ennosuffering** : I’ll hang out with you

**futakuchis** : YES!! you’re my new best friend

**ennosuffering** : oh yeah, did I tell you all that fukurodani was invited too?

**time2party** : WHAT

**time2party** : WHERE’S AKAASHI

**Hootkaashi** : hi

**time2party** : YOU’RE COMING?

**Hootkaashi:** yes. Is that ok?

**time2party:** OF COURSE IT’S OK

**futakuchis:** OMG COME

**futakuchis:** YOU’RE ALWAYS WELCOME

**classyahaba:** omg!! We’d be glad to have you!

**shirabae:** ^ what they said

**Hootkaashi:** that’s good to hear

**time2party:** we’re a squad now!! you don’t even have to ask

**time2party:** you could literally show up on our doorsteps and nobody would mind

**shirabae:** actually

**ennosuffering:** well warning would be nice, but yeah, you’re always welcome here

**ennosuffering:** don’t be shy, Akaashi

**Hootkaashi:** thanks everyone............

**futakuchis:** so many ellipses whoa……….

**classyahaba:** what is the purpose of this……………

**shirabae:** who knows………………. slime man

**classyahaba:** alright meme farmer I’ve just about had it with you

**shirabae:** what have you got……………. slime man

**classyahaba:** stop

**futakuchis:** …………. slime man

**classyahaba:** seriously why

* * *

 

**time2party** : holy shit

**time2party** : HOLY SHIT IS THAT NEKOMA

**time2party** : I'VE DEF SEEN THAT PUDDING HAIR KID BEFORE

**Hootkaashi** : that's Kenma

**time2party** : HI KENMA

**time2party** : AKAASHI IS THAT YOU

**time2party** : I'M WAVING CAN YOU SEE ME

**Hootkaashi** : um

**Hootkaashi** : are you in yellow, standing on top of a trash can?

**time2party** : yes!!! COME SAY HI

**Hootkaashi** : hold on, I need to make sure all my team are in one piece

**Hootkaashi** : but I'll be there in a sec

**futakuchis** : INCOMING!!!!!!!!!!

**classyahaba** : DID YOU JUST PUSH TERUSHIMA OFF THE GARBAGE CAN

**futakuchis** : no???

**ennosuffering** : he did. I saw him.

**futakuchis** : whoops busted what can you do

**ennosuffering** : FUTAKUCHI

**futakuchis** : bye

**Hootkaashi** : is terushima ok?

**ennosuffering** : he's fine. watch your back, I think Futakuchi's looking for the rest of y

**classyahaba:** AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

**classyahaba** : FUTAKUCHI KILLED ENNOSHITA

**Hootkaashi** : what

**classyahaba** : RUN KEIJI SAVE YOURSELF

**ennosuffering** : I'm fine. he just rammed into me and I got caught off guard

**classyahaba** : KEIJI HE'S COMING

**time2party** : ;)

**classyahaba** : SHUT UP TERUSHIMA YOU DIED

**classyahaba** : where did he go

**ennosuffering** : futakuchi is like 6ft tall how did you lose him

**classyahaba** : HE'S GOT ME

**classyahaba** : HELP

**classyahaba** : hi this is futakuchi kenji how much are you willing to pay to save yahaba's life

**Hootkaashi** : what is happening

**shirabae** : hold on I've got this

**Hootkaashi** : what are you going to do

**Hootkaashi** : what the fuck

**Hootkaashi** : is that a horse

**ennosuffering** : WHAT THE HECK IS SHIRATORIZAWA DOING

**shirabae** : don't be alarmed

**ennosuffering** : I AM VERY ALARMED

**ennosuffering** : if you see a kid with a blond streak in his hair running towards you please seize him immediately

**ennosuffering** : I've lost noya and we've only been in sendai for 5 mins max

**ennosuffering** : where is YAMAGUCHI

**ennosuffering** : Tsukishima is standing next to you Akaashi, ask him

**Hootkaashi** : oh so he is

**Hootkaashi** : ... he says he doesn't know

**classyahaba** : why aren't any of you coming to save yahaba, I don't want to hold him for this long

**Hootkaashi** : shirabu said he got this so just hold your horses

**time2party** : ba dum tss

**shirabae** : I'm not doing it for yahaba's sake though just so you all know

**ennosuffering** : HINATA'S GOING TO GET TRAMPLED

**ennosuffering** : WHAT IS WITH THE HORSES ALREADY

**shirabae** : oh I forgot to tell you, didn't I

**shirabae** : there's a parade happening for some fucking irrelevant sport that's not volleyball

**shirabae** : shiratorizawa's horse riding club are participating

**shirabae** : since it was happening in sendai anyway we were told we had to help out

**Hootkaashi** : oh ok fair enough

**shirabae:** we’ll be over in a sec

**classyahaba:** KEIJI I AM FREE AND HE IS COMING

**Hootkaashi:** who

**Hootkaashi:** oh

**Hootkaashi:** hi futakuchi

**classyahaba:** why is he suddenly being docile?

**classyahaba:** don't trust futakuchi!!

**classyahaba:** wh

**classyahaba:** why are you all crowding around keiji

**classyahaba:** what are you doing

**ennosuffering:** stop typing on your phone and get over here, Yahaba

**ennosuffering:** we're gonna take a group picture

**shirabae:** hey yahaba

**shirabae:** incoming

**ennosuffering:** OH MY GOD

**ennosuffering:** SHIRABU NO

**futakuchis:** LET ME SAVE THIS FOR

**futakuchis:** BLACKMAIL

**futakuchis:** I MEAN POSTERITY*

 

_futakuchis has sent an image._

**futakuchis:** you’ve seen it here first everyone

**futakuchis:** shirabu pulled yahaba up onto a fucking horse

**futakuchis:** because what even is real life anymore

**time2party:** I want to ride a horse, too! :(

**shirabae:** come on then

**time2party:** wait seriously??? I’M COMING

**time2party:** AFTER I GET A HUG FROM AKAASHI

**ennosuffering:** GDI ALL OF YOU GET OFF YOUR PHONES

**Hootkaashi:** I’m checking the timetable

**ennosuffering:** oh ok

**ennosuffering:** so how are you finding everything so far

**Hootkaashi:** I kind of want to go back home already

**ennosuffering:** yeah we get that a lot

**ennosuffering:** well come on suffer buddy

**ennosuffering:** we’ve got a camp to run

**Hootkaashi:** you got it

**Hootkaashi:** captain

**ennosuffering:** … let’s go, captain

**time2party:** this is so beautiful I’m tearing up

**shirabae:** yuuji do you want to ride a fucking horse or do you not

**time2party:** I’M COMING

**Author's Note:**

> um


End file.
